As it has been many days since I've regaled you and the internets with tales of my shenanigans I thought I would assemble a random smattering of things I've learned since last Friday. I hope you have some time on your hands. Because I've learned a lot.
1. Dulles airport is a pain in the ass.
Seriously, VA. What is that about? If you come visit me, please don't fly into Dulles. Well, let me re-phrase that. My desire to come get you from Dulles will be in direct proportion to how much I like you. (So maybe throw some compliments my way before you ask me to come get you from Dulles.) Additionally, let's talk about why VA hates posting signs for gas stations on the highway. Because I was pretty worried that we were going to run out of gas on the way to take Gov back to the airport and no exit said gas station. I finally had to make Libb use my GPS to find it. (Which by the way, she made her bitch. I can still only sort of use it. That's embarrassing.)
2. Govi can still let loose every now and again.
This is an actual conversation that transpired via text between me and Govi around 1 a.m. on Saturday.
Govi: What's the name of the bar where you are?
Me: Irish Times. Come play!
(Long Pause. Fast forward to 2:15 a.m.)
Me: Gov. Where are you? We're leaving the bar. Do you want us to come get you?
Gov: YES!
Me: Where are you?
Gov: I don't know.
Me: Well, if you don't know I can't help you. (Apparently somewhere between 1:30 and 2:15 I got really sassy. More to follow.) At which point this conversation transpired between me, Libb, and Kate. Me: Gov is an idiot. She doesn't know where she is. I'm not driving to every bar in DC to find her. Libb: She's not from here. We can't just leave her at the bar. Me: Fiiiiiine. (via text) Gov, where are you? Gov: K & 14th. Me: Okay, we'll find a cab and come get you.
3. According to our cab driver Saturday night, all Ethiopians are giant idiots.
This was probably one of the funniest cab drivers I have ever had. Not only did he put up with our drunk shenanigans, but he actually encouraged them. We were saying how drivers in DC are really intense and then he started yelling at other drivers on the road. I particularly enjoyed when some homeless guy walked out into the street and another cab pulled over for him, like to pick him up, and our driver was like "That guy is homeless. He doesn't want a cab; he can't pay you. What are you? Ethiopian?!" No joke. I can't make up things this offensive. So fast forward to when we finally pick up Gov and, no joke, I called her over a dozen times in 10 minutes and she wasn't answering. Finally, I get Kate and Libb in on the action. Libb sends the following text: "Hey. We're out in the cab, running up the fucking meter. Get your ass out here, or we're leaving." And despite all my phone calls, it was finally Kate who got Gov to pick up the phone. The best part though was when I said that I was only going to call Gov one more time and then we were leaving and our cab driver was like "Yeah, you tell her. We don't have all night to wait for her if she's not going to answer our phone." (Please note, this was moments after our cab driver had given me a cough drop for my ridiculous hacking cough.) How can you not love a cab driver who has road rage, encourages my sass, and medicates me?! Finally Gov rolls up in super dramatic fashion, gets in the cab, and is like "I thought I was never going to find you!" Yeah. We all thought that too, Govi.
4. Rainy Sundays are great for (Govi's) hangovers.
Okay, so I didn't learn this; I already knew it. But I figure it's worth reinforcing. None of us did anything on Sunday and no one felt bad about it. It was pretty great.
5. Libb should never doubt me. Ever. Because I am always right.
Okay, so maybe absolutes aren't a great idea, but the point is Libb kept doubting me this weekend and she came up short every time. I am a woman of my word. She doubted that I would make it out to the bar on Sunday. (Check. It was a late rally, but I still went.) She doubted that we would get Govi to the airport on time on Monday. (Check. And she was early, too. In yo' face.) And she doubted that we would make it to Ikea on Monday before we had to pick up Kate from work. (Check, check. Not only did we make it to Ikea, we got everything we went for. Because I am the bomb.)
6. No dinner + 1 Sam Adams + 3 gin and tonics = rowdy happy hour
To be fair, this was a valuable lesson that I learned Thursday night, but still. It's worth mentioning. It was a great kick off to the weekend.
7. The military ma'am's everyone.
Even if you're their age. I had to go to a military base for a job interview on Tuesday morning, which made me nervy because, well, you know my feelings on authority. So I head to the military base and you have to stop at the visitor's center so that they can check that you are who you say you are and stuff and this guy who was right around my age totally ma'am-ed me. I understand that's what they do in the army, but I did not feel respected. I felt old.
8. Urgent care is wicked expensive.
After messing around with this cough for 10 days to no avail, I decided to head to the clinic to try and get prescription strength cough medicine. Because the over the counter stuff just doesn't cut it. Even though it was an overall pleasant experience, (I saw the friendliest nurse practitioner EVER.) it was offensively expensive. I've decided I'm going to storm the White House and work with Baracko on this health care business. Because clearly what he's been lacking is my brilliant insight.
9. Robitussin with Codeine tastes awful.
Seriously. I can't even think of something that even comes close to tasting as awful as this does. Which surprises me, because I've always liked the taste of regular Robitussin. So I just figured that this kind would be the same, but with codeine in it. Not so. Apparently, codeine sucks all the deliciousness out of Robitussin. I mean, it's awful to the point where after you take it you shudder and gag a little. Ew. Just thinking about it makes me want to shudder and gag a little. Moving on....
10. Kristin stalks my blog. And I love it.
I love that when I checked my email this morning I had one from Kristin yelling at my for not updating my blog since last Friday.
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