Those of you know who know me also know that every time I see a Delaware license plate, I question whether or not Delaware truly was the first state. I mean, I guess it is, but I just have a hard time believing that Delaware beat out all those other historic colonies to be the first state--Mass, PA, Virginia? No. Apparently, Delaware beat all those bitches and actually is the first state. Anyway, this weekend weekend I was driving up 71-N (listening to Party in the USA by one Miley Cyrus) with Miss Mattis when we spotted a car with Delaware license plate and a Bengals license plate frame. I excused their douchey Delaware driving with the fact that they are a Bengals fan. However, as I always do when I see a Delaware license plate, I expressed my doubts over their first statehood to Syd. Who agreed with me and said that she would not have guessed Delaware to be the first state. The real tragedy of this situation is what transpired next. Syd, innocently, said "I mean, really, what's even in Delaware?", at which point my brain ceased functioning. I could not name a single attraction or city in Delaware. I couldn't even pull the capital's name out of my mind. I have shamed myself with my inability to recall anything about Delaware. (However, I was able to think of plenty of facts and attractions in the Dakotas while I was unable to think of anything about Delaware.) And I'm not going to lie, I was tooling around delware.gov moments ago to find out the capital's name when it came to me as if out of nowhere. Dover. The fucking capital of Delaware is Dover. (On a semi-related side-note: based on delaware.gov, they are REALLY into being the first state. It is all over that website.)
Initially, I felt like I was winning a prize when I booked my flight and it was an hour and a half flight back, rather than an eight and a half hour drive. I should have known at that exact moment that things were not going to go as planned. I left Cincinnati around 4 to drive up to Dayton for my 5:53 p.m. flight. Upon getting to Dayton, I learned that my flight was delayed until 7ish. Which is would I have originally gotten in to Baltimore. But whatever. There's not much you can do. So I bought Cosmo and kept it real. I finished my book (The Places in Between; I would definitely recommend it to a friend) and then started tooling through the mag. Finally, it's our time to get on the plane and I don't like to mess. I got on, found my seat, buckled in, and I was ready to go. I got to Baltimore at 8:12 and claimed my bag, and headed toward the train station. Caught the (also delayed) 9:05 train (which was more like the 9:18 train) into Union Station. Then I had to take the metro home. I arrived home at 10:45. Which, if you will note, brings my grand total of travel time to 6 hours and 45 minutes. So by flying home yesterday, I saved one and a half hours. That was an awesome use of time.
But what's really important to take away from my travels are the following three things.
1. In the future, I will attempt to take bags with wheels as my arms are really sore today from lugging my duffel around the greater Das Capital area.
2. Super pointy cowboy boots are never a good idea for men. Especially when said cowboy boots appear to be made of cow hair. Blech. There is no good reason for footwear like that. None.
3. Read Cosmo on the plane at your own risk. There was an older guy sitting next to me on the plane and a few different times I caught him reading my Cosmo. Which I thought was weird, but fine, until he felt like he wanted to talk about it. Hence, I had to sit through an awkward conversation about breast health with a complete stranger. On the plus side, I now know that broccoli apparently supports breast health, so I feel much better about having it with hummus as my afternoon snack. Just saying. So, in addition to avoiding salty foods and adding omega-3's to support breast health, you can also eat broccoli. Add it to the list.
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