The Airing of Greivances

I hate to be such a downer in my first post in 3 weeks, but I must air the following greivances.  These are in no particular order.


1.  Dear Black Missouri Hyundai,
If you're going to be in one parking spot for over a week, don't park like an asshat.  When your car is parked at an angle to the curb, you're really just asking for it to be hit.  Not to mention that you're also preventing other people from parking in an effective fashion.  You're an idiot.  Go back to the Missouri.  Maybe the one thing they show you when you go back is how to parallel park.


2.  DC Creating Its Own Traffic Problems
What I mean by that is this:  DC has about half a million people in the district itself, but a metropolitan population of about 7 million.  Clearly, this leads to significant traffic on both city streets and highways.  Thankfully, I'm driving the opposite way of traffic every morning on 495, but here's what gets me.  I really believe that DC could eliminate about 40% of district traffic by timing lights.  Often, one small, poorly timed light will cause traffic to back up for 3 blocks, or more during rush hours.  If the solution is this clear to me, how has it never occurred to a DC council member?  I can't believe that it's costly to switch the timing on lights.  I'm just not sure why such an easily solveable problem continues to go unsolved.


3.  Roger Clemmens Perjury Trial
Look, I get it--you take an oath to tell the truth so you should tell the freaking truth.  But we're having major meltdowns over budget talks and the president is telling us to rip off band-aids and eat peas, do we really need to waste the time figuring out if Roger Clemmens really took PEDs or not?  I mean, honestly, who freaking cares?  Baseball seems to be back on track and it's the only major American sport not currently in a lock out (as far as I'm concerned hockey is a Canadian sport).  Apparently America is going to run out of money any day and apocalyptic conditions are impending.  Is this really a good use of money?


4.  My Geography Professor
You're teaching an intro summer course at a community college.  I really hate to break it to you, but I'm pretty sure this class isn't going to cause me to break a sweat.  And yes, I'm missing two classes for a trip that I've been planning for months.  Life happens, dude.  Especially in the summer.  And unless you're going to finance my book purchase, step back.  Basically, I think everyone would appreciate it if you would just reach around and pull the stick out of your ass.  And by everyone, I mean me.