I realize how inflammatory this statement may be in the Queen City, global headquarters of Mr. Proctor and Mr. Gamble's company. Henceforth referred to as Proctor & Gamble. Or P&G, if you will. But please allow me to explain the basis of said inflammatory statement.
I had been meaning to clean our bathroom for a week now. I finally got around to it yesterday, because that's how things have been going in Das Capital. I had also bought Mr. Clean Magic Erasers for bathrooms. Which, because I'm a nerd, I was pretty pumped about.
So, as I'm cleaning yesterday, I'm thinking about how fantastic Magic Erasers are. I'm pretty sure this was my exact line of thought, as I was jamming to my iPod and cleaning the bathroom: "Wow. Magic Erasers are fantastic. I would like to shake the hand of the chemist who came up with this. I wonder if Chachy had to fill out those thingees for the cleaning guys in Magic Erasers." And then I was thinking to myself, "What brilliant company created the most magical eraser of all?" At which point, I flipped my Mr. Clean box over and saw "distributed by the Proctor & Gamble Corporation, Cincinnati, Ohio 45202". And this was literally my exact reaction, "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?! You tricky bastards! You own everything!!" I'm not sure what prompted such a strong overreaction, but that's what happened. But don't let my strong overreaction confuse you: I still think that Magic Erasers are the most fantastic cleaning innovation.
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